Convincing Your Partner to Expand Their Horizons
When making any kind of relationship-oriented proposition, one should consider how their partner views the status and overall importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, as this will determine both the manner of approach as well as the intervals at which they should suggest new and more risky ideas. For some couples, this will mean jumping straight into a full fledged experiment while, for others, small steps in the right direction are the way to go.
Most importantly, confidence in the strength of the relationship must be known between the two. Nothing will encourage your partner more than ensuring them that no matter how far you deviate from the normal activities, the relationship itself is more important than those activities. Physical intimacy is a very important part of any relationship for most people, so it will not be as difficult as some would think to get the ball rolling.
The first step to introducing new ideas is to present them in such a manner that suggests that you are not committed to that idea. Committing yourself to anything other than the relationship can compromise your partners faith in your commitment to the lasting of the relationship itself. It is important then to offer them up as ideas verses wants or needs, and to let your partner know that you have simply been thinking about it lately or tossing the idea around. It may be helpful to mention that you just read about it or a friend mentioned that they and their partner tried it.
Remember though, information has a way of spreading like disease so only mention a friend if it is actually true and don't use a friend as an example unless you are sure your partner likes that friend of yours. They may very well be willing to try it simply based on the fact that your friend has done it and they don't want to you feel left out. It is also crucial to present the idea as something fairly recent, as bringing up an idea you have been considering for awhile can have negative effects. First, it makes them question the trust, since you did not mention it sooner. Second, you will be on different pages in their mind, as the idea will be new to them but not to you.
The second step is to present the idea in different ways, asking your partners opinion and thoughts on the matter. Simply stating a good case is not always enough to convince them that it is a good idea. Even if they like what you are presenting, they may still feel left out of the planning process and therefore are likely to feel left out of the act itself. It is important to present the idea not just as your own but as something that your partner has equal share in planning. The more you let them do, the better. Remember, you will still have an opinion on the matter, but if your partner spends the better half of this conversation talking, you will have them convinced that it was their idea.
The third step is putting the idea into action. Any new idea may be weird for either or both of you so keeping a real open mind is important for yourself and encouraging your partner to try this and that is a good thing. Ensure them that they will feel good. Tell them that you just want to please them and let them know that they can be open with what they do and don't like about it. And remember, confidence is contagious. If you are certain that this is a good thing, it will help them to be certain as well.
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